off-the-wallflower child

Bad habits You fucking love them. Bad habits. I am burning them and crying over the flames because the smoke stings my eyes as I do because. The feeling would not go away even when I blink or rub my eyes and. Especially because I will miss the smell and feel of. Bad habits. I now natively chant and dance around the fire because. Well, fuck my misguidedness. You know it feels good be bad. Well, it felt good. It felt good to be bad. Caffeine

The Daily Planet, who knew the story in progress of a mystery that sat behind a stack of deadlined reports? That stood underneath a fedora, behind horn-rimmed glasses, and inside a ripped shirt? No one, except a boy who secretly ran around in red underwear and a matching cape... round and round and round... and then jumped out the window when his room became too small a world... or when it became too painful to keep on pretending. He saved the world. Caffeine

I’m breathless at the door because I have run up flights of stairs, holding my breath… My shoulders hurt, my neck is tense and apparently opening my door is rocket science now… I, am… Inside. And undress. My jeans first. From habit I kick them off with my shirt over my head. Drag my earrings off. Run my hand through my short hair and breathe! Out! I jump on my untidy bed to avoid the clutter of clothes on the floor and breathe… in… It’s one of those days when I have to, remember to, breathe. Caffeine

I’m sitting on his lap and I’ve grown because my face is resting on his chin and the tip of my toes brush the floor. My cheek feels his stubborn beard and eyes catch a stary white hair in his dimple. And I smile because we cant help but grow. I can’t sit on his laps anymore, but as I hug him I still feel his beard on my cheek and my eyes catch a stray black hair on his chin. And I smile becuase we cant help but grow. “As I grew older, I thought it wise to to have a photo showing my vintage white hair, which might disappear with age.” Because it’s not the clouds that disappear at night, it’s its contrast against the blue sky. So, my white hair will disappear until there is no black. And I smile because well… I’m bald and don’t have a beard! Caffeine

“And when I feel like this, I like to take my “argh-fuck” out for a walk.” Walk. With some fresh air then I might settle for just an “argh”… or maybe a quieter fuck”. It is exactly how I feel plenty times. Because yes I am fucking angry and sorry would not quite do. You know? I would breathe deep that fresh, clean, dirty… air. Feel it rush in my nose, sting a little because I have not been out in a while and never quite gone for those early runs like I swore I would… Taste the grass on my tongue. You know? Then breathe deeper if I could… And my mind occupied with the hot air on my face and the taste of outside I have missed so much… Then I might forget why I was so angry in the first place… Caffeine